Urban blight has hit Mickey's Toontown.

When Disneyland's eighth and newest land opened last year, it was a bright and colorful place with nary a shadow of threat or danger. That has changed with the opening of Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin, which with its grimy back alleys and nefariously plotting weasels gives Toontown a dark edge closer to its novel and movie roots.

The ride has been open and advertised for several weeks, although park officials have scheduled the official opening for next week. On a recent weekday, the attraction drew a steady stream of visitors despite a small park crowd; those interviewed professed to enjoy the ride.

A few of the very youngest park guests came out with tear-stained faces or hands over ears, frightened by the noise of the effects-laden ride. Others, though, came through bravely.

"I drove a funny car . . . I drove silly," said 2-year-old Stephanie Gulaga of Edmonton, Canada, speaking through an interpreter (her father, Kelly). Dominic Izzo, 3 1/2, of Los Angeles, said it was fun, although "bumpy" and "scary" in parts. "It's a Small World" still rates as her favorite ride.

Older kids enjoyed the new ride, too. "I liked it. I thought it was great," said Ashleigh Palinkas, 7, of Manhattan Beach. Eight-year-old Matthew Trevino of Saugus said his favorite part of the ride was "when Roger Rabbit got smashed by the refrigerator." Shawn Grady of San Pedro, another 8-year-old, admitted a preference for roller-coaster-type rides but was ready to rate the Car Toon Spin among his Top Three Disneyland attractions (along with Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain Railway).

Parents all said they enjoyed the attraction; even those hard-to-please teens seemed to get a kick out of it. Leon Hill, a gregarious 17-year-old from Brisbane, Australia (wearing a Napalm Death T-shirt), gave the ride a thumbs-up and pronounced it "pretty cool, pretty funky. . . . It's an odyssey."

One aspect of the ride was almost universally praised among those interviewed. "I love how the cars spin around," said Kellie West, 10, from the Central California town of Hume. The sentiment was echoed by Neal Reiter, 12, of Los Altos: "It's really fun. I like that you can drive the cars."

In the attraction, visitors ride through an explosively vivid cartoon world aboard anthropomorphic Toontown taxis like those in the 1989 movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." The two-person taxis move through the ride on a track, but passengers can also make them spin independently, something like the Tea Cups in Fantasyland.

The ride itself is close in spirit to older Fantasyland attractions such as Mr. Toad's Wild Ride or Alice in Wonderland, although the technology in Car Toon Spin is more sophisticated (and, at about seven minutes, the ride is longer than any of the other so-called "dark" rides).

Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin was actually completed in August, but the opening was held off because the still-new Toontown was already drawing capacity crowds. Holding off also gives a park a new ride to promote for 1994.

Those who saw "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" may recall that Toontown is a noir-ish, '40s urban neighborhood, where cartoon characters reside when they are not at the studio performing. There are dark alleys, barrooms and bad guys, most notably the weasels, who plot to "rub out" such 'toon stars as Roger and his voluptuous wife, Jessica, with a toxic substance called Dip.

Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin is built around elements of that story, but mostly the ride designers took it as an opportunity to make guests feel as if they are in the middle of a classic Warner Bros.-style cartoon. With some three-dimensional elements, but mostly through brightly painted backdrops (lit by black light) and lots of crashing through walls, the ride puts guests through some time-honored cartoon gags: an electrifying spin through the Toontown Power House, a crash through a china shop, an explosion (and the resulting head-spinning, birds-chirping world of cartoon unconsciousness) and a long fall from the top of a skyscraper.

And, lurking around every corner, those darned weasels.

A ride attraction was part of the original plan for Toontown, said Joe Lanzisero, senior concept designer with Walt Disney Imagineering, but it took awhile to come up with the right idea. Winnie the Pooh and Little Mermaid rides were among those considered, but "none of them really had the right temperament," Lanzisero said.

He credits the Roger Rabbit idea to Disney president Michael Eisner ("and I'm not kissing up," he joked). Up to the opening of the new Car Toon Spin, Mickey's Toontown has been "very kiddie-oriented," Lanzisero said. The new ride has "a little harder edge to it. . . . It's going to appeal to a much broader range of people."

Allowing ride passengers to spin their vehicles is an idea that's been kicking around Imagineering for years, waiting for the right ride, he said. The concept signals a new age in ride design, he said. "This is the interactive age we live in," Lanzisero said. "The days of sitting in a ride vehicle and passively experiencing" an attraction are over, he said.

The design did pose some challenges in the storytelling process, because what the visitors see depends on what way they are facing during the ride. "By letting our guests spin," Lanzisero said, "we never knew if people were going to see Jessica in the trunk with the weasels, for instance."

That wasn't a big obstacle, however. "We can't really tell full stories in these rides anyway," he said. "We create moods and feelings."

Helping to set the mood is one of the most elaborate queue systems anywhere in the park ("That queue is worth standing in itself," said one park spokesman). The line winds inside the building, an elaborate maze of mock backstage corridors. Toontown back alleys, past bubbling vats of Dip, and finally the cab company's dispatch area, where guests board the ride.

"We wanted to create a queue line experience that gave kids something to do," Lanzisero said. "It is a place where you start to set up the story ideas for the ride."

In a nutshell, "the basic story is, Roger is in trouble," he said. More importantly, however, "it gives us an excuse to do these big cartoon cliches."

The next big Disneyland attraction, due to open in 1995 in Adventureland, is also based on a film. The Indiana Jones Adventure is a joint venture between Disney and George Lucas, producer of the Indiana Jones films, which featured Harrison Ford as a swashbuckling, Nazi-battling archeologist. Roger Rabbit's Creator Revisits His Imagination

Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin could count at least one unabashed fan long before it opened to the public.

Gary Wolf, who created the ride's scatterbrained hero in his 1981 novel, "Who Censored Roger Rabbit?" (on which the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" was based), got a chance to check out the attraction in October, while he was in town on other business.

"It's a whole new kind of ride. The way that it's done, it's mind-boggling," Wolf said by phone from his home just outside Boston.

Many writers are deeply disappointed when their works are turned into movies or otherwise realized, but Wolf said he has been ecstatic with Disney, both for the movie and for the look and feel of Toontown.

"I love Toontown. That is as good a job of creating a tangible entity from an imaginary place as any I've ever seen in my life. The concept of Toontown from the book is realized," he said. His first walk through Toontown was "kind of an eerie experience. . . . It's kind of like walking through my own imagination."

The idea for Roger Rabbit, he has said, was worked out over his kitchen table, primarily to amuse himself. Now Roger is a cartoon character recognized around the world. He lives on in Disney-produced cartoon shorts and in Wolf's own books. "Roger's kind of opened a lot of doors for me," he said.

Wolf's second novel based on the character was published in 1992, "Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?" He's at work on a third, which incorporates a real movie star, the late Gary Cooper, and will be published as a graphic novel (sort of a high-rent comic book). Plans for a movie sequel have been long delayed, but Wolf said he has heard that the studio has accepted a final script and is preparing to proceed with production. Although Disney has optioned his second novel, the coming movie is not based on it, and Wolf is not directly involved in the project.

"I would just as soon not get involved in writing screenplays," he said. "I get to put in my two cents' worth, and that's enough for me." RICK VANDERKNYFF

The exclusive Valley music charts are compiled for The Times from information supplied by SoundScan Inc., the music industry's leading sales-reporting service. The rankings are based on actual sales in the San Fernando, Santa Clarita and Antelope valleys and Glendale. TOP 20 ALBUMS 03,04,52,11 Title, Artist (National Rank) Last Week 1 Music Box, Mariah Carey (1) 2 2 Doggystyle, Snoop Doggy Dogg (2) 1 3 Toni Braxton, Toni Braxton (10) 3 4 Lethal Injection, Ice Cube (24) 4 5 Duets, Frank Sinatra (21) 6 6 So Far So Good, Bryan Adams (6) 9 7 Janet, Janet Jackson (7) 5 8 MTV Unplugged, Ten Thousand Maniacs (13) 8 9 Colour of My Love, Celine Dion (23) 17 10 Greatest Hits, Tom Petty (9) 12 11 Siamese Dream, Smashing Pumpkins (18) 10 12 One Thing, Michael Bolton (4) 13 13 Very Necessary, Salt-N-Pepa (12) - 14 VS., Pearl Jam (3) 7 15 Everybody Else Is Doing It So..., Cranberries (20) 11 16 Diary of a Mad Band, Jodeci (5) 14 17 Bodyguard, Soundtrack (19) 19 18 August and Everything After, Counting Crows (32) - 19 Sign, Ace of Base (16) 16 20 Sleepless in Seattle, Soundtrack (28) - TOP 20 SINGLES 03,04,53,11 Title, Artist (National Rank) Last Week 1 Power of Love, Celine Dion (2) 2 2 So Much in Love, All-4-One (28) 7 3 All for Love, Bryan Adams (1) 1 4 Hero, Mariah Carey (6) 5 5 Breathe Again, Toni Braxton (8) 3 6 All That She Wants, Ace of Base (5) 4 7 Gangsta Lean, D.R.S. (7) 6 8 U.N.I.T.Y., Queen Latifah (17) - 9 Sign, Ace of Base (23) - 10 Real M... Gs, Eazy-E (33) 8 11 Understanding, Xscape (11) 16 12 Getto Jam, Domino (3) 9 13 Mr. Vain, Culture Beat (20) 18 13 Whatta Man, Salt-N-Pepa (10) - 15 Again, Janet Jackson (14) 11 16 Linger, Cranberries (18) 15 17 Whoomp! (There It Is), Tag Team (4) 13 18 Said I Love You ... But I Lied, Michael Bolton (15) 10 19 Cry for You, Jodeci (9) - 20 Can We Talk, Tevin Campbell (13) 19 Source: (Copyright) SoundScan Inc., for week ending Jan. 16

Never has the rarefied world of Paris couture seemed as far from reality as this week. As Los Angeles dug itself out of earthquake rubble, designers presented the most costly and exquisite summer clothing money can buy. But they didn't do it blithely. Oh, no.

Christian Lacroix expressed his sensitivity to the world beyond one-of-a-kind $30,000 dresses in a program note. "In these violent and desperate times, the only salvation lies in sincerity and a total loyalty toward one's passions," said the designer most often associated with the conspicuous consumption of the '80s. "Couture is my passion."

Well, escapism is our passion. And admiring the gorgeous dresses pictured in Women's Wear Daily over a Bloody Mary helped us forget that a brick chimney had fallen on our car.

Karl Lagerfeld kicked things off for Chanel on Saturday in the renovated showrooms beneath the Louvre museum under the appreciative eyes of such fans as Marisa Berenson and model Linda Evangelista's heartthrob, Kyle MacLachlan. (One British fashion writer, however, was not amused by the peekaboo collection. "The Chanel show was an insult to women and Lagerfeld should not get away with it," wrote Marion Hume in the Independent. Take that!)

Poor Gianfranco Ferre was derided for reviving that most attractive of fashion constructions -- the bustle -- at Christian Dior. A newly assertive Pierre Cardin changed the rules by merging summer and fall collections into one show, and newcomer Michel Klein (touted as "only 36") won plaudits for the simplicity of his Guy Laroche collection from Christian Lacroix.

Not all the news was made on the runway. Oh, no.

The New '90s Values: Actress and Chanel Face Carole Bouquet's new super short, boyish haircut . . . socialite Susan Gutfreund's downscale Duffle Coat . . . Children (as accessories, being dragged along and displayed prominently) . . . fewer hors d'oeuvres and drinks after the show.

The Oldest Way to Sum Up the Always-Over-the-Top Couture Collections, Courtesy of Associated Press Fashion Writer Suzy Patterson: "You wouldn't go to the market in these clothes." Oh, no?

Against All Odds: Sears, Roebuck & Co. will be Brand Central for pop star Phil Collins' upcoming North American tour. The giant retailer announced Wednesday it will sell clothing and merchandise related to the singer's 50-city concert tour. "I assume it will include T-shirts and tour jackets," company spokeswoman Mary Ann O'Rourke said, "but we won't be able to say exactly until after our meeting Jan. 26." The tour will begin May 17 in Mexico City.

The Smell of the Greasepaint: By the time power was to restored to most of Los Angeles Monday afternoon, L.A.'s superstar broadcasters had managed to duck into their studios' makeup and hair departments. But viewers from outlying areas report that seeing a few of these folks without their pancake was scarier than the quake. Hmm . . . is that why Colleen Williams never appeared on camera during KNBC Channel 4's early afternoon coverage, even though she and Chuck Henry anchored for hours? Seasoned broadcaster Tritia Toyota, however, managed to look like a dewy intern. How'd she do it? Credit a fabulous haircut, simple cashmere turtleneck -- oh, and natural beauty.

Casting Call: While stumpy Tonya Harding springs into triple axels, badly fried ponytail bouncing like cotton candy, her swan-necked nemesis, Nancy Kerrigan, glides across the ice in chaste Vera Wang designs. We can't help but wonder who will play whom in the TV movie. Forgetting about hair color for a moment, can't you just see Tori Spelling as Kerrigan and a slightly force-fed Shannen Dougherty as Tonya? Can't you?

The Hype of Los Angeles: Count the promotional references contained in the following 5-inch-by-7-inch invitation: Buzz (the Talk of Los Angeles) and Emporio Armani Express invite you to attend a book party with Shirley Lord, who will read from her new novel " My Sister's Keeper ". . . . Books can be purchased on the premises with the American Express Card . . . . Enjoy private shopping downstairs until 9 p.m. Guests will receive an Emporio Armani Passport and a 10% discount. The words Frangelico Liquer float in the lower right-hand corner, tipping us off, perhaps, to the evening's featured elixir?

Why Anne Rice Doesn't Write About the Protestant Work Ethic: "That's exactly what factory managers wanted people to believe at the turn of the century. The whole idea of 'The Wizard of Oz' is don't go to New York and be a dancer, stay right there in Kansas with the pigs, that anything that's glossy and sensuous and enchanting is going to be a fraud." Uh, like sucking blood? Rice discusses her penchant for the road less traveled in the new and improved February issue of Vibe. Our favorite feature of all? A tiny pictorial (Page 100) tracing actress Kim Fields' remarkable evolution from one of "The Facts of Life" to curvy star of "Living Single." "You go, girl," says the caption. She sure does.

One-Stop Shopping: Come fall, Los Angeles will go the way of New York when the California Mart showcases local designers' spring collections under one tent. The California Collections Spring '95 Preview will be presented Oct. 7-9, announced Denise Cohen Scher, California Mart fashion director, at last week's Marty Menswear Awards show Downtown. Centralizing the shows should do more than simplify travel for out-of-town buyers and press. If California's design community puts its considerable clout and vision behind a singular event, perhaps we'll see a return of the kind of glittery attention L.A. last experienced in the late '80s. Stay tuned.

Bringing New Meaning to the Phrase "Fashion Victim": There's a reason we don't trust Mr. Inside Out when it comes to most advice. "Honey, don't sleep in your clothes . . . again," he said in his holier-than-thou tone Sunday night. We'd dozed off quite peacefully in our jeans and hiking boots. "Have enough self-respect to change into pajamas."

Little rebukes like that have a way of getting our attention and -- good wife that we occasionally are -- our complicity. Guess we were prescient, though, because only a few hours later, didn't we have to scramble out of our nightie and back into those jeans and boots? Don't think we didn't point out this waste of time to Mr. Ouch-I've-Got-Glass-In-My-Foot, who, in his defense, always lets us have the last word.

The issue of "detachment' arises frequently in playwright-poet Harry Kondoleon's alternately hilarious and disturbing second novel.

Hector, its narrator, is a man in his 30s with full-blown AIDS who turns a trenchant and unforgiving eye on the people around him. Most especially, he devotes his attention to the failing, flailing marriage of Susan, his best friend since college, and Bill Ded, her amiable but faithless husband, a man with a charter membership in a Philandering Husbands Support Group.

"Was it a group to help curtain sexually compulsive behavior," Hector wonders to himself, "or was it more of what it said it was, a club for husbands who wanted to be supported in their philandering?"

"It was a not particularly attractive group of men," he archly continues. "But I have to admit the majority of their stories about sneaking around for sex were very sexy. I couldn't help admiring the ingenuity and the downright Jacobean backdrop of guilt and self-loathing."

Hector is able to study with hilarious effect many of his heterosexual acquaintances with a similar air of clinical equanimity.

"I was an Other," he confides, "and they would tolerate, even welcome, a visitor from a foreign planet, provided I did not squirt alien fluid in their direction."

Oddly, however, he seems even more removed from direct involvement in his own crises. With his once attractive body wasted away and his active libido all but a memory, he often seems more a neutral camera than a player.

It's this inherent distance that gives Hector's voice its quirky, irresistible flatness -- a quality that brings to mind Rachel Ingalls' strange and haunting novel, "Mrs. Caliban." In fact, Hector is so perplexed at his own detachment that he constantly seeks the opinions of others, both historical and contemporary, on the subject. At one point, in a small elevator, he queries Susan's mother:

"I've been thinking a lot about the principle of detachment. Do you know? Have you any position in particular you hold on detachment?"

To his surprise, she takes the question seriously. "It's something that comes whether you like it or not," she replies. "One learns to pretend. After a series of sharp disappointments we can't help but retreat. You make little settlements with yourself. You attach yourself to less and less. There's no judgment in it -- fair play, actually, really, when you think about it. There are so many things I don't give a goddamn about anymore, it would take a week to list them."

Yet Hector, in spite of himself, periodically gets pulled back to life, such as the time Bill and Susan try to fix him up with a blind date at a dinner party.

"Here's where the comedy grows as rich as French pastry," he tells us, "as deep as the aroma from a pot-au-feu -- anyway, anything French and superior.

"The pot-au-feu enters, whom we will call Max Drake, because that in fact is his real name. It would be too sticky to sit here and describe Drake's beauty: It is complete in every visible detail. He even speaks eloquently, yet with no pretensions. He's refined, well-mannered, a full, rich laugh informed by intelligence and human kindness. Just the kind of person I ordinarily would like to set fire to."

But ultimately the promising Max, like so many of Hector's friends, dies, leaving him alone and unconnected. "Old people do understand," he decides. "The fatigue, the aching, the thinning away, and the nearly visible retreating of existence. A scarecrow in the waiting room said to me, 'It's pretty awful when you remember you were awfully pretty.' "

Only at the end, at the finish of his tale, does Hector let down his guard when addressing hypothetical readers, forgotten friends.

"I didn't mention you, did I? I'm sorry. I meant to, in a way. You helped me, but I hated needing help. And then I got very involved thinking about S. and B.'s marriage.

"Who should I have loved? You? Or you? I would have had to let you look at me. Like this. You don't know what I look like now. A branch from a burnt tree.

"What did you expect of me? What? -- gratitude? I just wanted to forget . . . like everyone else. Forget for a little while and have a laugh! Then, as you know, it became impossible. It all wasn't much fun then. Not for me and not for you.

"You. You. You. You're all mad at me know. I didn't describe the day I craved black cherries and you got them. And massaged my feet."

Irony, that staple of survival humor, has long been Hector's brave defense. Like plexiglass, it's strong, but it's also ultimately transparent. As we read "Diary of a Lost Boy," we see straight through it, we see Hector, and we don't feel a bit detached from him. Not for a minute.

"Hell is other people," one of the characters in "Intersection" (citywide) allows in a philosophical moment, but that isn't quite accurate. Hell is other people in movies like this.

A dithering romantic drama about a self-absorbed dolt of a husband going through yet another midlife crisis, unable to choose between two stunning women who throw themselves at him and inexplicably put up with his whiny indecisiveness, "Intersection" in truth isn't intense enough to be called hell. Purgatory would be more like it.

Based on a French novel that director Claude Sautet turned into his 1970 film "Les Choses de la Vie," "Intersection" as directed by Mark Rydell is riddled with miscalculations. It is miscast, filled with characters who are incapable of eliciting sympathy, and relates a story so unsatisfying one can only wonder that it got made at all.

Vincent Eastman (Richard Gere) is the man with too many women. The architect of choice in Vancouver, B.C., prone to peering over half-glasses and muttering about fenestration, Eastman designs buildings that cause an admiring associate to say, "somewhere Frank Lloyd Wright is eating his heart out."

What Vincent lacks, to steal a title from a far better film, is a design for living. He has been married for 16 years to his high-powered partner Sally (Sharon Stone), an ambitious woman who wears her hair in a bun and cares more about clients than carnal pleasures. "It's not a family," Vincent grouses, "it's a corporation with a kid." That would be 13-year-old Meaghan (Jenny Morrison) who is the apple, pear and peach of her dad's eye.

The other woman is the free-spirited Olivia Marshak (Lolita Davidovich), a counterculture journalist so bursting with youthful joie d'vivre you want to hide under a rock and so understanding of Vincent's inability to truly commit she makes Dr. Joyce Brothers look like Rush Limbaugh.

Most of the movie is made up of Vincent equivocating about whom he really loves and remembering the good times with both women, trying to balance how much Sally has meant to him with how good Olivia makes him feel. Problems, problems, problems.

All the principals certainly look glamorous in Vilmos Zsigmond's glossy cinematography, with Gere's windblown hair nicely setting off his Armani clothes and Stone looking regal in jewels precious enough to get a screen credit. The only thing the three stars can't do is get anyone involved in the David Rayfiel and Marshall Brickman script.

For one thing, though the story's dynamics and the Eastmans' 16-year marriage tell you that this is at least in part an older-woman, younger-woman situation, Stone and Davidovich are in reality only a few years apart in age and putting Stone's hair up in that bun does not go a long way toward making her look like Grandma Moses.

For another thing, Gere is about the last actor you want to see having a crisis of conscience on screen. Handsome and talented though he is, he is also too self-absorbed to be empathetic while searching his soul, and his most successful roles, from "An Officer and a Gentleman" to "Internal Affairs" and "Pretty Woman," have wisely not called on him to be the kind of audience surrogate he is supposed to be here.

Already burdened with distant actors and an artificial script, "Intersection" does not need its peculiar central plot contrivance, which starts with the film's mysterious opening scene and closes with a leaden finale. Midlife crises are invariably a bore on screen, but this one is worst than most.

*

'Intersection'

Richard Gere: Vincent Eastman

Sharon Stone: Sally Eastman

Lolita Davidovich: Olivia Marshak

Martin Landau: Neal

David Selby: Richard Quarry

Jenny Morrison: Meaghan Eastman

A Bud Yorkin production in association with Frederic Golchan, released by Paramount Pictures. Director Mark Rydell. Producers Bud Yorkin, Mark Rydell. Executive producer Frederic Golchan. Screenplay David Rayfiel and Marshall Brickman. Cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond. Editor Mark Warner. Costumes Ellen Mirojnick. Music James Newton Howard. Production design Harold Michelson. Art director Yvonne Hurst. Set decorator Dominique Fauquet-Lemaitre. Running time: 1 hour, 47 minutes.

MPAA rating: R, for "some language and sexuality." Times guidelines: brief nudity, sexual situations and an extended automobile crash.

QUAKE AFTERMATH

Recovery Program for Artists: Help may be on the way for artists and arts organizations who lost artwork or suffered damages to their spaces or equipment in Monday's earthquake. The Los Angeles Cultural Affairs Department is establishing an Arts/Earthquake Recovery Program, including a fund for individual artists; technical aid; equipment replacement and temporary rehearsal space for nonprofit arts groups; a program of family arts events to ease the mood at shelters, and a citywide survey of damage to arts organizations and facilities. Although no specific funds have been identified yet, the department is seeking funds from private groups, the city, the California Arts Council and the National Endowment for the Arts. In the meantime, affected artists and arts groups should call the 24-hour arts hot line, (213) 688-ARTS, to register their losses.

A Dose of Laughter: The Laugh Factory at 8001 Sunset Blvd. is offering free comedy shows through the end of the month for Southern California earthquake survivors. Dubbed "a complimentary respite of fun and humor amid chaos," the shows will be open to all who bring any broken object or a picture of their home in disarray. Comedians who have agreed to perform through the free run include "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper" star Marc Curry, "The Second Half" star John Mendoza, "Good Times" star Jimmie Walker, KLSX deejay Frazier Smith, George Lopez and Charlie Fleischer, who supplied the voice for film character Roger Rabbit. "This whole thing is about our community coming together," says Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masuda. "And laughter is a relief for everybody." Showtimes are at 8 and 10 nightly, with additional midnight shows on Fridays and Saturdays.

Aftershocks Hit New York: Shock waves from Monday's earthquake have reached at least one New York theater. The result is a two-day postponement of the New York Theatre Workshop's production of "Unfinished Stories" because the director, Gordon Davidson, returned to his L.A. base at the Mark Taper Forum over the weekend and couldn't get back to New York as scheduled. The lost rehearsal time means the Sybille Pearson play will now begin performances Feb. 6. Davidson is the Taper's artistic director. TELEVISION

Jury Sides With Vanna: A Los Angeles federal jury has ordered Samsung Electronics to pay Vanna White $403,000 in damages for running an ad featuring a robot designed to resemble the letter-turning "Wheel of Fortune" hostess. But attorneys for Samsung, which earlier rejected a $950,000 settlement offer from White (down from her original request of $6.9 million), called the verdicts a "win." White testified that the ads -- which depicted a robot in a red sequined dress with a blond wig on a "Wheel of Fortune"-like set -- damaged her image, her career and her earning potential -- by cutting into potential endorsement income.

What a 'Relief': HBO's five-hour telecast of "Comic Relief VI" on Saturday drew more than 12 million viewers, according to the Nielsens, beating network prime-time fare and NBC's late-night comedy show "Saturday Night Live" in HBO homes. In addition, pledges for the show to benefit the homeless have now topped $7.2 million. HBO will air two "Comic Relief VI" highlights specials Feb. 8 and 15. And, for die-hard "Comic Relief" fans, another cable channel, A&E, will extend the fund-raising efforts with "The Best of Comic Relief," a series of 13 one-hour specials culled from the first five "Comic Relief" programs, beginning Feb. 12. MOVIES

The Awards Race Continues: Five films won nominations this week in the Producers Guild of America's fifth annual Golden Laurel Awards. Nominated were Arnold Kopelson for "The Fugitive"; Jim Sheridan for "In the Name of the Father"; Jan Chapman for "The Piano"; Mike Nichols, John Calley and Ismail Merchant for "The Remains of the Day," and Steven Spielberg, Gerald R. Molen and Branko Lustig for "Schindler's List." Nominated in the TV categories were the producers of "And the Band Played On," "Gypsy," "Home Improvement," "Law and Order," "NYPD Blue," "Picket Fences," "The Larry Sanders Show," "Seinfeld" and "To Dance With the White Dog." The awards will be presented March 2 at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel. THE ARTS

Opera Benefit a Losing Proposition: Although it was intended as a benefit for Opera Pacific, Placido Domingo's performance in Manuel Penella's "El Gato Montes" at the Orange County Performing Arts Center Saturday ended up costing the company $50,000. Ticket sales brought in about $322,000 -- not enough to cover total costs, which included busing in about 2,000 Latino students for the dress rehearsal and a post-performance reception for 200 patrons who purchased $500 seats. Opera Pacific's general director, David DiChiera, noted Thursday that paid attendance was 98% but that the group had expected to sell 300 tickets at the benefit price. "From a repertory point of view and educational point of view, it was still a very worthwhile project for us," DiChiera said. The performance was presented in cooperation with the Los Angeles Music Center Opera, which is presenting "El Gato" through Jan. 29.

A $10-Million Present: New York's Guggenheim Museum has started the New Year off with a major gift of $10 million from Ronald O. Perelman, chairman of Revlon Inc. and a museum trustee. As part of the gift, the Revlon Foundation will commission a major sculpture by noted American artist Roy Lichtenstein, for the exterior of the museum's new tower building. The donation launches the museum's $100-million "Campaign for the Next Century." SHAUNA SNOW

"The 24th International Tournee of Animation," an uneven program of 14 short films from Europe and the United States opening today at the Nuart in West Los Angeles, confirms that stop-motion animation, a technique once relegated to Speedy Alka-Seltzer commercials and low-budget movie monsters, is enjoying a comeback.

"Prehistoric Beast" (U.S.), by Oscar-winning special-effects artist Phil Tippett, which depicts two dinosaurs stalking each other in a Mesozoic forest, eclipses the other films. This superbly animated short was a test for "Jurassic Park," and it looks like a sequence from a big-budget feature.

Paul Berry's previously reviewed "The Sandman" (U.K.) is also technically polished, if grisly.

Twenty-one minutes of the 90-minute program are devoted to "A Salute to the Dimensional Artistry of Will Vinton Studios" (U.S.), a collage of shorts and commercials that showcases the studio's recent forays into conventional stop-motion and computer animation, instead of their popular clay films. (Vinton coined the term claymation.)

It's an odd time to be saluting Vinton, as his studio recently lost the leadership of clay animation to London's Aardman Animations ("Creature Comforts"). The characters made from old trophies and scraps of electrical junk in Vinton's "Mr. Resistor" ape the nightmarish work of the brothers Quay, but lacks their eerie surrealism.

The "Tournee" is weakest in the field of drawn animation. "The Billy Nayer Show" by Cory McAbee and Bobby Lurie and "Le Carre de Lumiere" ("The Square of Light," Switzerland) by Claude Luyet rely too heavily on traced live-action footage.

Viewers will quickly weary of the crude drawings and rudimentary movements in "We Love It" (U.S.) by Vincent Cafarelli and Candy Kugel and "The Man Who Yelled" (U.S.) by Mo Willems.

Many of the films in "The 24th International Tournee of Animation" simply don't represent the best work being done in world animation. But stop-motion fans will enjoy some of them.

It runs through Feb. 3.

Times guidelines: some graphic and intense sequences.

I'm crazy about Da Pasquale in Beverly Hills. I like the waiters, the menu with its changing selection of daily pastas, the very '80s look, the clatter and clamor, the look of the clientele, and mostly, the food, which tastes as if it's fresh from the stove of a talented, natural cook -- which, in fact, it is. When the second Da Pasquale, appropriately named Da Pasquale 2, opened in the old Grappa (and even older Old World) space on Sunset two months ago, I couldn't wait to go.

The renovated space looks fabulous. Gone is Grappa's mauve and gray, brass and glass corporate lobby decor. In its place is an elegant, industrial dressiness. Strong, reassuring steel girders define the entryway. The low ceiling has been removed, revealing a floor joist threaded with exposed conduits and dozens of utility boxes that each sport a cunning, flame-shaped chandelier bulb. There is blessedly little art, only an enormous gilt-framed mirror. Through a sparkling wall of windows, a classic view of Sunset Boulevard dominates the western wing of the restaurant: There's Spago, Tower Records, Book Soup, a complicated, harrowing intersection.

I have to say, however, that my first two visits to this new Da Pasquale are disappointing. The feel of the place is still a little disjunctive. And the food lacks the sparkle and luster I've come to expect from other Mora family restaurants. (Pasquale Mora and his brothers have cooked at and opened several restaurants around town, including two Toto Cafes.)

For one, the menu was not the Da Pasquale menu I know and love, but non-rotating and closer, I believe, to the Toto menu. Cooking in general was passable, but uninspired. One night's special, a homemade spinach manicotti , was a thick fresh noodle stuffed with pureed spinach and topped with a lively tomato sauce. Fine, not great.

What I always remember from the original Da Pasquale is the fresh fish, often served with roasted potatoes and sauteed escarole or spinach. Here at Da Pasquale 2, a pretty slab of almost raw swordfish comes with two precooked antipasti : pickled string beans and pickled carrots. Not only did I send the fish back to be more thoroughly cooked, I missed the freshness of hot, just-cooked vegetables. And the antipasti , displayed on plates just inside the front door, proved to be tired: Artichoke hearts were sodden, the rapini dry and stringy.

*

The service was also mildly distracted, and occasionally confused. One night, our entrees came out before our salads arrived, and sailed by again on another trial run -- the same bowls of food -- before we were ready for them. When we finally received the entrees, the risotto was dry and congealed -- we ate a bite and set it aside. Happily, without a word, a fresh bowl of creamy, fresh risotto arrived in several minutes.

Maybe, I thought, maybe I'm making it up about the original Da Pasquale. So I went back to the Beverly Hills location to see if I was exaggerating that restaurant's virtues. I wasn't. Everything -- lightly battered shrimp and calamari on a bed of arugula, a white bean and escarole soup redolent of good extra-virgin olive oil, striped bass with sauteed spinach, orecchiette with a deep and subtle ragout of beef -- was superb.

Still, certain traits of Da Pasquale 2 do indicate that it can, in time, grow into its name. I've seen the familiar Mora faces watching over the dining room. And the menu was drastically rewritten in the last week and looks more promising. My most recent meal there included several high points: A Caesar salad was terrific. Spaghetti with Italian sausage had a tomato sauce with the lightest and most enlivening touch of cream. Filet mignon medallions were overcooked and dull, but they came smothered with big succulent chunks of porcini mushrooms.

Desserts were limited to tiramisu , those frozen ice cream truffles and a soggy vanilla cream pastry. The espresso seems to be improving.

I know it's not completely fair to compare the child to the fully matured parent -- and Da Pasquale 2 is clearly a mere child. Certainly, the owner here faces all the riddles and challenges of cloning a successful restaurant. Still, one wonders, why not import the original tried-and-true Da Pasquale menu for starters, just to get things rolling, and borrow those fabulous cooks?

* Da Pasquale 8782 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 659-6464. Lunch and dinner seven days. Full bar. Major credit cards accepted. Dinner for two, food only, $25-$52.

Mike Kaplan and John Dorr's illuminating and incisive 90-minute "Luck, Trust & Ketchup: Robert Altman in Carver Country" (premiering on Bravo tonight at 8) is as much about the director as the making of "Short Cuts," the film Altman and his co-writer Frank Barhydt wove so effectively from nine of Raymond Carver's celebrated short stories centering on lives of ordinary desperation.

It's no wonder Altman has so little trouble getting top actors to play small roles in his films. It isn't merely a question of his mystique as one of the great living figures of the American cinema; it's a matter of the warm, low-key atmosphere he creates on the set, inviting contributions from one and all.

Chris Penn puts his finger on it when he says that, although it "sounds contradictory," Altman is "very spontaneous -- and he knows exactly what he wants." The man is both wise enough and secure enough to encourage input.

Trust and luck are two words that are uttered repeatedly throughout this engaging documentary -- the whole question of the role trust and luck play in human relationships that is at the heart of "Short Cuts" in turn mirrors Altman's methods.

Jack Lemmon remarks that the ability to inspire trust is the common quality that all the finest directors share. Film editor Geraldine Peroni observes that both Altman and Carver, who died at 50, "have a dark vision of the world"; interestingly, as large, bearish men, their physical resemblance is so striking that they could be brothers.

Moreover, if luck plays a key role in the lives of Carver's people, Altman allows it to play a similar role in the making of his films -- luck in the sense of having rounded up a cast and crew of gifted people and partaking of their inspirations.

Altman's openness to the ideas of others ranges from letting Lemmon work in a trick with two shot glasses and an egg and Tim Robbins' suggestion that Anne Archer's character should be a professional clown to his production designer's urging the use of a wall-size aquarium in an apartment set and his music supervisor's idea of commissioning top songwriters to create songs especially for Annie Ross' saloon singer. If you have seen "Short Cuts" you will understand how such details can be essential to breathing life into a film.

Indeed, you probably should see "Short Cuts" before you see this documentary. It's not because it gives everything away but rather to have seen the film enriches one's understanding of all that went into making it the landmark film that it is.

And if you haven't yet seen "Short Cuts," "Luck, Trust & Ketchup," an EZTV/Circle Associates production, surely ought to encourage you to catch up with it -- soonest.

It sounds easy enough: Pick the eight albums that best reflect the musical imagination and spirit of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's 1994 induction class.

Step into a record store, however, and in most cases you'll find a dizzying array of choices.

Do you go for one of the artist's numerous studio albums, a greatest-hits package or a multi-disc box set? In Elton John's case alone, you can choose from some 20 studio albums, two live albums, three greatest-hits packages and two box sets.

Don't assume a box set or a greatest-hits is the best way to go. In some cases, an artist doesn't have enough noteworthy work to justify a multi-disc package and in other cases a greatest-hits album fails to capture the character of an artist as well as the best of the artist's studio collections.

Before beginning your search, it's a good idea to consult Schwann Spectrum, a comprehensive guide to what's available on record, and frequently at what price. The winter 1993-94 edition is available now at most record stores for $6.95.

Here are the albums that best summarize the musical spirit of this year's induction crop.

* The Animals -- "The Best of the Animals" on ABKCO Records brings together 15 of the recordings, from "The House of the Rising Sun" to the influential "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," that made the English rock group an early challenger to the Beatles.

* The Band -- Skip the single-disc "Best of the Band" and the two-disc "Kingdom Come" retrospective and choose between "Music From Big Pink" or "The Band," the group's first two studio collections. The latter is widely considered one of the two dozen best albums of the rock era -- clearly the group's crowning achievement. But there is an innocence and soulfulness to "Big Pink" that makes it equally endearing.

* Duane Eddy -- Your only option, according to Schwann Spectrum, is "Twang Thang: The Duane Eddy Anthology." The good news about the two-disc, 40-song package from Rhino is that it's well designed and includes everything you'd want by Eddy, including "Rebel Rouser" and the remake of "Peter Gunn." The bad news is that a single disc at half "Twang's" $28 price tag would be a more reasonable alternative.

* The Grateful Dead -- Lots of choices here, including live and greatest-hits packages, but pay special attention to the group's two admired 1970 studio collections, "Workingman's Dead" and "American Beauty." Both are available in mid-line packages.

* Elton John -- If you want to go for the compilations, "To Be Continued" is an excellent four-disc package, while volume one of the Polydor "Greatest Hits" packages is superior to volume two from Polydor or MCA's "Greatest Hits 1976-1986." Of the studio collections, "Elton John," the 1970 debut, still offers the most disarming glimpse of the freshness and craft that he brought to pop music.

* John Lennon -- You can't go wrong with the four-disc "Lennon," which contains more than 70 tracks, but anyone looking for a more modest introduction should stick with "Plastic Ono Band," the landmark 1970 album that set a new standard for introspection and raw emotion in rock.

* Bob Marley -- Marley is not only the most important figure ever in reggae, but one of the most vital of the entire rock era. You can sample his work nicely in his splendid "Live!" from 1976, but serious pop and reggae fans shouldn't settle for anything less than "Songs of Freedom," the four-disc box set.

* Rod Stewart -- Stewart has done some delightful work during his uneven tenure at Warner Bros. Records, but the British singer defined his art in the '70s on Mercury, a period captured nicely in "Rod Stewart: The Mercury Anthology." Among the selections in the two-disc package: "Maggie May," "Every Picture Tells a Story" and his original "Reason to Believe."

With Westerns enjoying something of a renaissance, it's exciting to rediscover a classic released on laser with new insights offered on its analogue-discussion track.

Fox/Image, in its special "Wide-screen Collector's Edition" of "The Comancheros" ($60), has rounded up four co-stars -- Stuart Whitman, Nehemiah Persoff, Michael Ansara and Patrick Wayne -- whose memories serve up an analogue track that lets us see some of what the actor's life was like on a remote location 30 years ago, where chess and poker games for unusual stakes helped fight boredom.

"The Comancheros" was director Michael Curtiz's last movie after a string of hits that included "Casablanca," "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and "The Adventures of Robin Hood." The 1961 movie based on a Paul Wellman novel, which stars John Wayne as a Texas Ranger, includes Lee Marvin in a supporting role and wide-screen scenery that won't quit.

The rich, unspoiled Utah backdrop that doubled for Texas returns unscathed and breathtaking in this rich, crisp transfer. The red-dirt bluffs and plains, in fact, emerge as some of the strongest memories for the cast, with both Whitman and Ansara in particular recalling how the vistas took their breath away, even as they were shooting.

And for the young Whitman, getting the love interest -- and the late, lovely Ina Balin at that -- in a John Wayne movie was also enough to take his breath away. "I can't get enough of that," he says, watching the scene again. "A little smooching and hugging with Ina Balin," he sighs. "And she smelled so nice. . . ."

All the actors have only the fondest memories of the Duke himself. Wayne "took interest in every aspect of the film," Persoff recalls, with Curtiz, who was "old" by then, willing to carry out suggestions from Wayne, who had just finished directing "The Alamo."

Son Patrick Wayne recalls the film as giving him an opportunity to spend time with his dad without competition from his siblings, and also to watch his father at work as a major presence on screen and on the set. "When you were in a John Wayne film, there were always two directors," Wayne and the credited director, Patrick Wayne remembers.

For Ansara, an actor of Lebanese ancestry who often was typecast as a Native American (Cochise in the TV series "Broken Arrow"), the chance to play a bad guy and to work with Wayne at the same time was an irresistible combination.

Even though all four actors have distinctive voices, it is still sometimes difficult to know who is talking when on the analogue track. It would have been helpful if producers Bret Hampton and Dennis Rood had identified them throughout rather than just when they are initially introduced.

This is one time when the seeing the original film's trailer adds a new dimension to the project. A scene shown in the trailer helps explain a hole in the film, obviously the result of one cutting-room snip too many.

Other bonuses include stills, publicity and marketing material and script excerpts. One clever idea instituted by the producers is to move the still material forward through the use of repeated dissolves. This takes some of the burden off the viewer's finger -- interactivity is not always all it's cracked up to be -- and if you want to stay on one picture all you have to do is freeze it. This is one method other producers might consider for future laser projects.

Snoop Dogg is creeping up on Mariah Carey. His "Doggystyle," which slipped to No. 4 last week, appeared ready to slip down the chart.But he's back up to No. 2, barking at chart-leader Carey's door. Singer-rapper R. Kelly's steamy "12 Play" continues its rapid rise, bounding from No. 22 to No. 11. Giant steps up the chart: Counting Crows' "August and Everything After" (No. 70 to No. 32) and the "Philadelphia" soundtrack, featuring a new Bruce Springsteen song, climbed from No. 74 to No. 34. "All for Love," by Bryan Adams, Sting and Rod Stewart, is still the No. 1 pop single. 04,38,06,08,08 Rank Rank 2 Weeks Last Weeks on the Week Ago Chart 1. "Music Box," Mariah Carey 1 2 20 2. "Doggystyle," Snoop Doggy Dogg 4 1 8 3. "Vs.," Pearl Jam 2 3 13 4. "The One Thing," Michael Bolton 3 5 9 5. "Diary of a Mad Band," Jodeci 8 8 4 6. "So Far So Good," Bryan Adams 7 7 10 7. "janet.," Janet Jackson 6 4 35 8. "Bat Out of Hell II," Meat Loaf 5 6 18 9. "Greatest Hits," Tom Petty 10 9 9 10. "Toni Braxton," Toni Braxton 12 13 27 * "Very Necessary," Salt-n-Pepa 26 25 14 * This female rap group's album, already over the 500,000 mark, leaped up the chart, from No. 26 to No. 12, apparently headed for the Top 10. Its new single "Whatta Man," featuring En Vogue, which rocketed from No. 69 to No. 22 on the pop chart, is powering the album's ascent.

Source: Billboard/SoundscanDENNIS HUNT

At the recent Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, new audio-video products were showcased that the industry is still buzzing about. Most were just introduced in the past few months or will debut this year:

* The commercial eliminator: Tired of fast-forwarding through commercials when you tape a TV show? Eliminate that headache with this pain reliever. Hook it up to your VCR (it's compatible with all brands), tape the show and when you play it back . . . presto! -- no commercials. Called the Commercial Brake Model 1000 -- because it's shaped like a brake -- the demonstration of this machine was very impressive. Costing about as much as a basic VCR, $200, it's due in April from Arista Technologies Inc.

* Casio's TV-clock-radio combo: The AV-100, a great gadget for the gadget-oriented, features a digital clock and a 2.5-inch LCD (liquid crystal display) color TV screen. The most fascinating feature is the full-month calender, which shows up on the screen at the push of a button. It's available in June for $300.

* This will be the year that the 8mm/VHS decks finally arrive. These are dual-well units that accommodate both 8mm and VHS tapes at the same time, allowing you to edit 8mm camcorder tapes onto VHS cassettes for playback on standard VCRs. There's a patent squabble going on, but now it looks as if Goldstar may introduce a unit in April and Go-Video -- the chief dual-deck company -- will launch one in the second half of the year. Prices aren't available yet but they'll probably be expensive -- costing at least $700.

* In portable audio, Sony has a new MiniDisc player/recorder, the MZ-R2, that's smaller and lighter (11 ounces) than any on the market. Battery life in the playback mode has increased to 2.5 hours. The MiniDisc (small recordable CD) format has yet to click with consumers. Since MiniDisc is geared to the portables market, Sony hopes this ultra-light unit will be more attractive to buyers.

* More companies are introducing headphone CD units this year equipped with anti-shock systems like those in MiniDisc players. With the anti-shock buffers, you won't get as many interruptions in the music. Kenwood has three of these units and Panasonic is marketing two. This extra feature won't be a huge extra expense. The prices of the new units -- in the $200-$300 range -- aren't much different from portables already on the market.

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Earthquake Tapes: Don't go to your video store looking for instructional tapes about quake survival and preparedness. In a spot check of 20 stores around the Southland, none had any in stock. It's not that they were checked out -- they were never stocked in the first place.

But don't blame the retailers. They stock what rents and sells -- which is movies, not instructional tapes. Small stores in particular have less room for tapes that generate little consumer interest.

The other problem is that are no new, high-profile, high-quality tapes from major companies about quake survival and preparedness. It's time for one of the big companies to market such a tape. With Californians anxious about the next big one, the tape would be a big hit. What's New on Video

"Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday" (New Line, no set price). The final Jason flick? We should be so lucky. This homicidal maniac is seemingly bumped off but keeps coming back to life so he can orchestrate those gross gore-fests -- massacring teens at Crystal Lake -- that delight horror fans. Each film rates higher on the gore-meter. Can't wait for "Jason 20."

"Blood In . . . Blood Out: Bound by Honor" (Hollywood, no set price). Unfairly downgraded by many as "Boyz in the East L.A. Hood," director Taylor Hackford's sprawling movie is a gritty probe of the underbelly of Chicano culture, following three cousins raised as brothers from the early '70s to the early '80s. Yes, it's too long (three hours) and too obviously borrows from classic gangster movies, but it's fairly well-acted (by talented unknowns) and features some riveting moments -- particularly the prison scenes. Upcoming

Just announced: Hollywood's "The Joy Luck Club" is due March 30.

Also: "Rookie of the Year," "Hard Target," "The Coneheads" and "Last Action Hero" (Wednesday); "Poetic Justice," "Kalifornia" and "Indochine" (Feb. 2); "In the Line of Fire," "The Meteor Man," "Amongst Friends" and "That Night" (Feb. 9); "The Secret Garden" (Feb. 15); "Man Without a Face" and "The Program" (Feb. 16); "For Love or Money," "Son of the Pink Panther," "Dazed and Confused," "Son-in-Law," "Needful Things," "Strictly Ballroom" and "Boxing Helena" (Feb. 23); "Much Ado About Nothing," "The Good Son" and "Striking Distance" (March 2); "The Fox and the Hound" (March 4); "Manhattan Murder Mystery," "Judgment Night" and "So I Married an Axe Murderer" (March 9); "Gettysburg" (March 16); "The Fugitive" (March 22); "Fatal Instinct" (March 23); "Malice" (April 13).

After hanging on precariously to the top rental spot, warding off the strong challenges of "The Firm" and "Sleepless in Seattle" over the holidays, "Cliffhanger" finally toppled--all the way to No. 4. But it sure had an impressive run.Few industry observers figured it would outduel "The Firm" and "Sleepless in Seattle" for as long as it did. Look out for "Dave," the Kevin Kline comedy about the presidential look-alike, which is starting to make a move. "Dave" jumped from No. 9 to No. 5 and should climb a few more rungs next week. "True Romance," the violent drama starring Christian Slater, debuted at No. 13. Though not a big box-office hit ($11.5-million gross), the lure of Slater--plus a strong supporting cast--should make "Romance" popular among late teens and twentysomething renters. "Hocus Pocus," which grossed nearly $40 million, entered at No. 14 and has a good shot at making the Top 5. 03,28,06,08 Rank Weeks Last on the Week Chart 1."The Firm" 4 3 2."Sleepless in Seattle" 3 4 3."Rising Sun" 2 6 4."Cliffhanger" 1 8 5."Dave" 9 3 6."Sliver" 5 9 7."MadeinAmerica" 6 7 8."Guilty as Sin" 10 4 9."Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" 8 4 10."Indecent Proposal" * "Hot Shots! Part Deux" - 1 * This freewheeling parody, starring Charlie Sheen, opened at No. 12 and will easily shoot into the Top 10. This kind of comedy, with its scatter-gun, non-stop humor, is big among renters. "Hot Shots" was a box-office hot shot too, raking in $38.6 million.

Source: Billboard Publications Inc.DENNIS HUNT

Cute tykes in cereal commercials notwithstanding, there aren't many worthwhile shows with a hero named Mikey. It's a moniker that tells you all you need to know about the swell fella and wholesome tone of "The Ballad of Little Mikey" at the Celebration Theatre.

This perky coming-of-age musical tracks the escapades of the titular clean-cut UCLA student (vivacious Mark Smith) as he discovers his homosexuality, meets guys, becomes an activist, and, along the way, finds a mate.

Most of the tale is told in flashback to 1980, with the present-tense scenes serving primarily as quick signposts toward the moment when our gallant hero chooses (surprise, surprise) to go on fighting the good fight. He even turns down a megabucks job offer in order to do this. And whaddaya know, his boyfriend doesn't mind. Mikey! Hey, Mikey!

This overly determined string of events (a.k.a. the coming-out play) has become a staple plot line not only in gay theater, but in many dramas of recognition and identity. In feminist theater, the story's about a housewife who discovers a vocation or her own sexuality. In various ethnicity-specific theaters, it's about the mainstreaming, material success or politicization of a member of the younger generation. But the point's nearly always the same: to show a group to itself, and also to the world.

Gay theater as a literature has evolved way beyond this stage, though, so it's odd to see a new musical traipse over the same ground. But even if the content is facile, "The Ballad of Little Mikey" is performed with such exuberance -- by a skilled ensemble, under the energetic direction of Celebration artistic director Robert Schrock -- that Mark Savage's book, music and lyrics seem more substantial than they really are.

* "The Ballad of Little Mikey," Celebration Theatre, 7051-B Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood. Thursdays-Sundays, 8 p.m. Ends Feb. 20. $20. (213) 660-8587. Running time: 1 hour, 45 minutes.

"Romance/Romance" at the International City Theatre is more likely to make you gag than swoon.

A double-header of namby-pamby musicals by Barry Harman and Keith Hermann, the two stories are linked only because they're both about attractions.But these are both flings that should be flung. Far away.

Act 1, "The Little Comedy," is based on an Arthur Schnitzler tale of two monied turn-of-the-century Vienners (Chuck Rosen, Susan Hoffmann) who go slumming in their best bohemian rags, on the lookout for love. They just happen to find each other while in disguise.

Act 2 is even more trite and contrived. It's set in the Hamptons in the 1980s, where two yuppie couples (Rosen and Laura Akard; Hoffman and John Sovec) have taken a time-share condo on the beach.

Husband A wants Wife B, of course, and they spend the whole play yammering about it. But if this tedious -- not to mention emotionally dishonest -- riff doesn't put the kibosh on any and all passions, it's hard to say what would.

At least there's a standout male lead, rich-voiced Rosen, who gets a few decent showcase numbers out of this whole sordid little affair. His pitch-perfect musical theater demeanor rises above the material, particularly in Act 1. But his fellow cast members aren't so lucky. And director caryn morse has done little to fill in the gaps.

* "Romance/Romance," International City Theatre, Long Beach City College, Clark and Harvey Way, Long Beach. Fridays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays 2 and 7 p.m. Ends Feb. 20. $16. (310) 420-4128 or (213) 480-3232. Running time: 2 hours, 20 minutes.

Seldom has a putative comedy brought together so many melodramatic cliches as Brian Christopher Williams' "In Stitches" at the Hollywood Court Theatre. An amateurish ditty about a quilting bee for the AIDS quilt even makes its cast look shoddy.And that's no mean feat, given that several of these actors have been known to turn in staunch work on other L.A. stages.

Johnelle (Lorey Hayes) runs the bee in the basement of a house whose occupant is a grouchy older woman (Sandra Kinder) who actually has lines like "I ain't afraid of you, Missy." The group's participants include a flighty young mother named Mona (Jeanie Hackett) and a husband and wife who've lost their son. When the dead son's mate, Max, shows up, things get snarly.

Due to an actor's illness on press night, playwright Williams went on in the role of Max and did a passable job, considering. But apropos of his play, someone should advise him, as Johnelle says to Mona, that "There's nothing as hard as letting go." After all, "Grievin' is hard work."

* "In Stitches," Hollywood Court Theatre at the Hollywood United Methodist Church, 6817 Franklin Ave., Hollywood. Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 7 p.m. Ends Feb. 13. $15. (213) 660-TKTS. Running time: 1 hour, 55 minutes.

With "The State" (premiering tonight at 9), MTV has its first new live-action half-hour comedy show in quite a while.

But wait -- what does that make "The Grind," then?

Seriously, folks, "The State" features the wild and crazy antics of the titular New York comedy troupe, made up of recent New York University alumni between the ages of 22 and 24.

Apparently they all watched a lot of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" reruns during late-night studying breaks. Like a lot of thus-influenced contemporary ensemble comedy, the show's full of absurdity for absurdity's sake, and not much else.

Advance publicity promises a weekly series "that isn't afraid to take a raw comedic look at today's pop culture." You never would've guessed from tonight's premiere, which comes closest to raw pop culture with a mock-game show sketch in which Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen inebriatedly field a grinning host's queries about heroin and the like. Boy, there's some raging topicality for you.

The opener does have one bright spot, an amusing skit with a young couple doing the wild thing on a couch, while their respective sets of hormones dance around the living room enacting how well the clinch is or isn't going -- suggesting that some of the players have a gift for physical comedy that might be further tapped later on.

But when the best moment in the series opener is on the level of an average Groundlings or Kids in the Hall sketch, and the feeble others (a recurring bit about an overloaded elevator, a faux cereal commercial consisting of mush-mouthed nonsense talk) don't even approach that plateau, the state of "The State" isn't encouraging. CHRIS WILLMAN

Media images of a country torn asunder by war will be replaced with the multicolored vision of a joyous land when the Los Angeles-based Aman Folk Ensemble arrives in Orange County on Saturday with a new Croatian work.

That country's villagers once gathered to celebrate through music and dance "just about every major turning point in the year and in life," says Aman artistic director Barry Glass. "This was where community was built.

"Posavina," a suite of traditional dances titled after a region in central Croatia, had its premiere last week in Los Angeles. Choreographed by Glass, it's one of a dozen works from such diverse areas as Northern Mexico, central Asia and Appalachia on the well-known troupe's program at Saddleback College in Mission Viejo.

"This is a piece I've been wanting to do for a while," Glass said in a recent phone interview from the troupe's Los Angeles office. "To me, it conveys in music, dance, costume and motif a time or a type of traditional society that was much more ordered than the modern world allows."

Music, not movement style, always provides the inspirational spark for new works, said Glass, noting that "Posavina's" accompaniment begins with slow, a cappella singing, performed by the dancers, in three-part harmony typical of the region.

From there, its mostly quick, upbeat melodies are created by a small string ensemble known as a tamburica , with instruments ranging from a string bass to a high-pitched bisernica , which looks something like a Ping-Pong paddle.

"I'm not Croatian," said Glass, 46, "but I learned some of their dances as a child and during the early days of folk dancing in the U.S. Then, as I got more interested, I learned more from folklorists in Croatia . . . who were wonderful about taking us places and showing us steps."

Traditional Croatian dance, represented elsewhere in Aman's repertory, was influenced by dances of nearby Hungary, Italy and the Slovenian Alps. Thus, it is characterized by its variety of steps, from hops to stamps, and formations, from couples to large circles.

But the country's most popular dance was the drmes , or shaking dance, composed of small, precise movements, Glass said. "When you do these little steps, there are tight, little bounces, and the body shakes.

"In Croatian dance, you're either doing it well, or you feel like a clod," he continued, citing another reason for liking it: "I've always been known for very precise foot work."

*

Except in a few local professional troupes, today's Croatians rarely perform their traditional dances, which, until a couple of decades ago, were key to such rites of passage as marriage, Glass said.

"These dances were part of a traditional society that was quite insular, but when people began to get TVs . . . traditional society began to change, and thus the dance began to change. If we lose the reasons for dancing, then we stop."

"Posavina's" colorful, handmade costumes, which Aman easily and inexpensively obtained in the early '70s, have nearly disappeared too.

"Traditional dress leaves even earlier than the dances," Glass said. "They wear Western-style ready-mades now."

In June, the troupe, which takes its name from the Eastern European and Middle Eastern pronunciation of "amen," will mark its 30th anniversary with performances at UCLA, where it was founded.

*

The trip has had its ups and downs. The company's U.S. touring schedule is up to three months this year, but it's been as low as two weeks.

"Sometimes folk dance is trendy; sometimes it isn't," said Glass, a native Angeleno who's been with the troupe for 27 years and still performs.

"In the late '80s, during the high-tech 'me decade,' the values we represent were not very much in vogue, and our bookings were way down."

Part of the secret to survival is Aman's touring educational program, which has continued to grow, Glass said, as well as the company's performers and staffers -- "these wonderfully dedicated people who continue to ride it out."

As for attracting audiences, Glass somewhat reluctantly used "the A-word," which he said often has had a negative connotation in the dance world.

"I think we're accessible," he said. "When people see us, they might not connect with everything, but they'll connect with something."

* Aman Folk Ensemble performs Saturday at 8 p.m. at the McKinney Theatre , Saddleback College, 28000 Marguerite Parkway, Mission Viejo. $14-$16. (714) 582-4656.

In 1986, a bizarre story of sexual and political misdirection thrilled Europe.

A French diplomat was on trial for espionage, but that wasn't the real grabber in this gender-twisting shell game. Bernard Boursicot revealed in court that he had an affair for nearly 20 years with Shi Pei Pu, a male Chinese Opera star whom Boursicot believed to be female.

The amazing deception went beyond the boudoir drag show, for Pei Pu was also a spy who persuaded Boursicot to pass state secrets to the Chinese.

A few American newspapers picked up the accounts, and soon readers in the States were fascinated. David Henry Hwang, the respected playwright of "The Dance and the Railroad" and "Family Devotions," was among them.

He took the tale, changed some names, added a few dramatic refinements and came up with "M. Butterfly," one of the biggest hits of the 1988 Broadway season.

Now, UC Irvine takes on the drama, which has been produced in more than 30 countries and was recently made into a movie starring Jeremy Irons and John Lone. UCI's "M. Butterfly," directed by drama professor Keith Fowler, flutters into the Irvine Barclay Theatre tonight. It runs for two weekends, through Jan. 29.

Like everybody else, Fowler was drawn to the play because it's such a great yarn, a "Ripley's Believe It or Not!" for the stage.

"The historical aspect is just fascinating; I mean, who could believe (the story) if we didn't know it really happened?" he said during a break in rehearsals this week.

"But beyond (the strange facts), it's compelling because it gets us to look at how the West perceives the East (and) how men perceive women, as submissive and mysterious."

During a lecture at UCI in 1992, Hwang elaborated on that. He said his goal in writing "M. Butterfly" was, in part, to dispel the "fantasy stereotype of the Orient."

Gallimard, Hwang's stand-in for Boursicot, believes that Song (Pei Pu) is a woman because he has an image of Asian women as modest and reticent, which allows him to be deceived, the author explained.

Fowler agreed, but pointed out that the relationship also shows just how far someone will go to maintain love, or at least a romantic vision of it.

"Ultimately, 'M. Butterfly' reminds us that we get deeply into the act of courting," he said. "We do have our illusions about what our partner is or what we want them to be. Even faced with reality, we separate from it.

"In the end, Gallimard says, 'I love and have been loved by the perfect woman,' even after he knows (that Song) is a man."

*

Fowler said he's admired the play ever since he first saw it in New York a few years ago. Describing "M. Butterfly" as "an audience-friendly play that combines humor and a powerful narrative with moments of conflict," the director noted that he's tried to be faithful to the script.

That includes a couple of nude scenes Fowler believes are essential to the production. The first involves an actress playing a calendar girl in a fantasy scene. The second, and more important, finds Song stripping before Gallimard and the audience, finally revealing that he's a man.

"We realize that some people don't like them; we've had people call the box office (during past shows) to find out if there's nudity," he said. "In this case, we hope audiences will realize that it's critical to the play.

"The scenes aren't lengthy, and they aren't gratuitous . . . but one is in your face. When Song says, 'You've always wanted to strip me,' and then he takes all his clothes off, it's a crucial moment."

Preparing Andre Evangelista, the young Filipino-American drama student, for that passage, as well as the rest of the play, was also crucial. And not without its grinning moments.

Fowler said Evangelista "is going to be a very fine actor," but reaching his feminine side wasn't always that easy during rehearsals.

Fowler recalled asking a female stage assistant to help Evangelista dress and walk. "She came in (wearing) spike heels and a tight dress, just to give him an idea. Then there was Andre, wearing his two-inch starter heels, stumbling around . . . at that point, I wasn't accepting him (as Song), but now I've come around; he's getting comfortable with a very demanding role."

When it came to Gallimard, Fowler turned to Alan Schack, a UCI drama graduate student in his 40s, who was trained in New York and is a veteran of many regional productions.

*

Like many critics, Fowler didn't like the movie version. He said it had "a 'Crying Game' quality," which tended to ignore the drama's more subtle reflections on gender and love.

He did, however, express hope that the publicity generated by the film might prompt interest in the UCI production. On the other hand, all the attention may make the odd story behind "M. Butterfly" now seem old hat.

"Maybe there's still curiosity about this," he said. "Anyway, this play is better as a play, not a movie. I hope they come in because of that."

* UC Irvine's production "M. Butterfly" by David Henry Hwang opens tonight at 8 at the Irvine Barclay Theatre , 4242 Campus Drive, Irvine. Performances continue Saturday and next Thursday through Saturday at 8 p.m., with matinees at 2 on Sunday and Jan. 29. $6 to $14. (714) 856-6616 or (714) 854-4646.

As some restaurants should be saved only for special events, some concert venues should be used only for musical marathons, anniversaries or other gala occasions.

The Crystal Cathedral, home of that huge, 12-year-old amalgam of two mammoth instruments -- a Ruffatti and a Skinner, an organ standing five stories tall and incorporating 13,000 pipes, five manuals and 223 ranks -- is such a venue.

The massive instrument was utilized appropriately Tuesday night, however, when Catharine Crozier, the veteran American organist who turned 80 last Friday, shared her birthday recital with a large audience of well-wishers, a few of whom no doubt came to see if Crozier still retains her fabled technique and probing musicality.

Not to worry. The beloved organist -- looking slender but not frail, approaching the instrument with a purposeful walk and revealing its complex resources with unfailing insight -- still offers musical integrity and virtuosic elan as the foundation of her recital performances. With Crozier, now as always, it seems, satisfaction can be guaranteed.

*

Her anniversary recital -- she had also given comparable concerts at the Garden Grove church noting her 70th and 75th birthdays -- took no easy course.

It began with three organ chorales of Bach, crested on a suite of excerpts from Nicolas de Grigny's "Mass for Organ," revived for our delectation Jehan Alain's brief and haunting Second Fantasy and ascended the several breathtaking climaxes of contrasting virtuoso pieces by Leo Sowerby: the late Fantasy for Flute Stops, "Requiescat in Pace" (1920) and the Toccata (1940).

All these works Crozier delivered with sense and affection. Having conquered their various and pesky demands long since, she could concentrate on communicating their messages and structures. The results were, not surprisingly, engrossing and instructive.

The price of the American dream is a Faustian nightmare in Jon Robin Baitz's "Three Hotels."

Success at the top of the corporate ladder can come at the cost of losing one's soul.

The 1991 play's exquisitely realized West Coast premiere staging at San Diego Repertory Theatre's Lyceum Space fingers those for whom profits justify the means.

Baitz's simple story, told in three alternating monologues in three hotels by a corporate executive and his wife, puts a human face on a very specific crime -- the strategy of selling baby formula to mothers in developing countries. The women, ignorant of how to use the formula, unwittingly kill their babies by mixing it with undrinkable water or diluting the stuff too much.

But the crime fits many others -- those who defend the sale of guns or who glamorize cigarettes, and downtown redevelopers who justify razing low-income housing because they can make more bucks building expensive boutiques.

The play, astonishing in its maturity for the 32-year-old Baitz (who has said he modeled the couple on his own parents), is a cross between "Death of a Salesman" and "Glengarry Glen Ross." Kenneth Hoyle, drawn with intense, restless intelligence by Rep artistic director Douglas Jacobs, has Willy Loman's desire to please coupled with the cutthroat nature of Mamet's men.

*

But Hoyle is dragged down because he has a burden he can't shake -- a conscience -- personified by his love for his wife, played with graceful despair by Jacobs' real-life wife, Darla Cash. And when his wife gives up on the onetime Peace Corps activist she married, in the form of baring her feelings in a speech before the corporate wives, he loses everything.

Because Baitz's point of view in this 75-minute play is so crashingly clear, the show runs the risk of making its points with big dull thuds. Director Todd Salovey wisely keeps it fluid and moving, emphasizing the humanity, the anguish and the growing emptiness of the Hoyles at every irresistible turn. It soon becomes clear why the piece is told in monologue form -- this couple can no longer communicate directly. Violin solos by Myla Wingard (who will alternate with Karen Elaine) precede and punctuate the monologues, complementing the musical inevitability of the couple's quiet, inexorable tragedy.

Neil Patel's spare scenic design sets off the tale elegantly on a black marbled thrust stage with sand suggesting a beach in front of it. Under Brenda Berry's suggestive lighting, candles flicker through a scrim like the souls of the dead. Judy Watson's well-chosen costumes fit to perfection.

"Three Hotels" premiered on PBS in 1991, and was seen Off Broadway last year, but this staging deserves to be seen too.

* "Three Hotels," Lyceum Space, 79 Horton Plaza, San Diego. Tuesdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 2 and 7 p.m., Wednesday, 2 p.m. Ends Feb. 12. $18-$24. 235-8025. Running time: 1 hour, 15 minutes.

Douglas Jacobs: Kenneth Hoyle

Darla Cash: Barbara Hoyle

A San Diego Repertory Theatre. By Jon Robin Baitz. Directed by Todd Neil Patel. Costumes: Judy Watson. Lighting: Brenda Berry. Stage manager: Andy Tighe.

Trouble has found the Trouble Dolls. Bassist Mark Soden and lead guitarist Michael Bay left the band in December after it played its first tour, an eight-day West Coast trip.

"If we could have had the commitment to stay together, we could have worked things out," said a disappointed John Surge, Trouble Dolls singer and songwriter. "Michael wants to go do his own things, write his own songs. With Mark, there was a personality conflict. For whatever reason, it wasn't harmonious any more. I think it's unfortunate, but you've got to carry on. I'm in this for the long haul."

Trouble Dolls released a strong 1993 debut album, "Cement." Surge said that he and drummer Ron Cambra have been rehearsing with former Leonards guitarist Lenny Grassa, and are auditioning bassists.

"Michael was an integral part of the band, so it will be new, probably a little more aggressive," Surge said. "We'll probably be back in action in mid-February playing shows, and we're already thinking about a second album."

Meanwhile, Bay and Soden will resurface in a new band, the Michael Bay Magnet, which plays its first show tonight at System M in Long Beach. Other members are drummer Nick Zeigler, formerly of the Leonards, and pianist Art Bailey. Soden also is working as producer-engineer for the Costa Mesa rock duo Big Enjoyers.

Soden said that, for him, Trouble Dolls became "a situation that was unbelievably uncomfortable. When people are that unhappy, it's just time to move on. Michael wanted to play his own songs, and it appeared there was no place for them in the other ensemble."

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CLASH OF THE TITANS: Unhappy with the way Giant Records promoted its 1992 debut album, "Now I Eat Them," Xtra Large has split with the label.

The band's manager, Jon St. James, said that Giant set a deadline for demo recordings of songs for the next Xtra Large album, then dropped the band when it deliberately stalled.

"The guys are ecstatic," said St. James, who acknowledges that he himself had misgivings about walking away from a deal that would have given the band a substantial recording budget for its second album.

Guitarist Warren Fitzgerald said the members decided they did not want to rush into another album, especially since the band has just added a new singer, Dave Quackenbush, to replace the fired Darren McNamee.

With drummer Josh Freese having spent most of 1993 on the road in Paul Westerberg's band, and Fitzgerald busy in the studio as a new, adjunct member of Oingo Boingo, the band decided to take a go-slow approach.

"With Darren out of the group," which also includes bassist Bob Thomson, "we're re-evaluating our whole situation," Fitzgerald said. "We didn't want to be under the gun" to record a new album immediately. "We wanted to do it right, to have it happen more naturally. Now we have an opportunity to start from scratch, without any preconceptions."

The first change will be a new name: Fitzgerald said Xtra Large is now calling itself Xtra Medium, although that, too, could be temporary.

McNamee's wildly unpredictable, sometimes crude on- and off-stage antics apparently became a bit too much, even for band mates who themselves aren't beyond wildly unpredictable antics of questionable taste. He has formed a new band called Pierre Pants, which will play Jan. 28 at Our House in Costa Mesa.

Fitzgerald, Freese and Quackenbush also play in the Vandals. They can be heard and/or seen on "Sweatin' to the Oldies," a live Vandals album that Triple X is releasing on video and compact disc. It's taken from a show last January at the Ice House in Fullerton.

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ENCORE: Channel Three is back on the punk rock dial.

In its initial incarnation, Channel Three was a Cerritos-based hard core punk band that first built a following in the early '80s at the storied Costa Mesa punk club, the Cuckoo's Nest.

After switching styles from racing punk to melodic hard rock in the mid-'80s, Channel Three lost part of its audience and eventually called it a career in 1987. The band staged reunions in 1990-91, but had no intention of returning as a going concern.

Now, encouraged by the boom in punk-inspired alternative rock, founding members Kimm Gardener and Mike Magrann have decided to revive the band.

The initial spark, says Gardener, was an unexpected call last May from the promoter of a punk-rock festival in Portland. A fan of Channel Three, he wanted to book the band on the festival bill.

Gardener, who plays guitar, and vocalist Magrann played the gig and subsequently decided that the climate is right for Round Two of Channel Three. Joining the two original members are newcomers Alf Silva on drums and Mitch McNally on bass.

"We're playing more of the earlier stuff at this point," Gardener said. "We're working on new material, and we've met with a couple of record labels that are interested." A brief European tour has been booked for next month. "It seems full steam ahead," Gardener said. "It's exciting."

Channel Three plays Jan. 28 at the Electric Circus in Buena Park, with Decry and Derailed opening. (714) 827-1210.

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HEY, CISCO!: Cisco Poison, a trio led by former T.S.O.L. front man Joe Wood, has signed a three-album contract with PMRC, an affiliate of the Orange-based Doctor Dream label.

The band's debut album, due this summer, will be Wood's first release since T.S.O.L.'s finale, "Strange Love" in 1990.

"I've gone back to the focus of the 'Revenge' album," Wood said, referring to a T.S.O.L. record from 1986 that had a dark, Doors-influenced punk/blues slant, in contrast to the heavy metal cast of the band's final releases.

Wood says he "went into a commercial thing" in recent years, hoping to land a major label deal. Now, "I'm back on an independent label, and I'm happy to be there and make another record, and I'm excited to go and tour on the grass-roots level."

PMRC, which stands for Pat McKeon Record Company, debuted in 1992 with "Mosh on Fire," a compilation album of punk-metal bands from Southern California. The label's roster also includes two Bay Area bands, Fifty Lashes and Assemble.

Before launching his own label, McKeon sang in the Orange County heavy metal band Max Havoc.

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FROM HONK TO HOLY: Former Honk saxophonist Craig Buhler has branched into Christian music.

Buhler, who played in the popular Laguna Beach band in the 1970s, lives in Seattle now and has just released his second solo album, "Clouds of Heaven." He will lead a band of Southern California musicians in a free concert Jan. 29 at 6:30 p.m. at the Vineyard Christian Fellowship, 5340 E. La Palma Ave., Anaheim.

Richard Stekol, another Honk alumnus, produced the album and will play guitar in Buhler's concert lineup. (714) 777-4777.

PREMIUM SEATING? It will be a tough job to reinstall the 17-ton Sony Jumbotron scoreboard on Anaheim Stadium's left-field roof that fell in Monday's quake. But maybe even tougher, once that's done: How do you persuade people to buy tickets for the seats right below it?. . . . "You hire a bunch of experts who determine that it is safe," says stadium General Manager Greg Smith."It's the same as driving over the freeway bridges. We won't let anybody sit there until it is safe."

THREE-WAY WIN: Bahia Wilson gave up a year of her time to serve on the 1993-94 Orange County Grand Jury. While she says "it's the best job I've ever had -- I really feel like I made a difference," Wilson has concerns that the grand jury doesn't represent the county's growing diversity. But it may next time. . . . Thanks to efforts of her special committee, applications for the 1994-95 grand jury show a marked increase in diversity in age, gender and race. You can still apply, through Jan. 28.

WHAT ABOUT HILLARY? UC Irvine economist Richard McKenzie, the author of 16 books, voted for Bill Clinton in 1992. So how's Clinton doing after one year, in McKenzie's grade book? Uh, D+. . . . And that's only because McKenzie gives the president a B in international trade -- McKenzie gives him F's in tax and labor, and D's in just about anything else economy-related. . . . McKenzie predicted for 120 local business leaders at an Irvine breakfast Thursday that Clinton will not only fail to get reelected in 1996, he won't even win the Democratic nomination.

Disaster relief offices opened in Simi Valley and Fillmore on Thursday, and hundreds of earthquake victims began applying for tens of millions of dollars in government aid as Ventura County started to rebuild from its most costly disaster in history.

Staggering from $1 billion in damage countywide, earthquake victims showed up at daybreak for a 1 p.m. opening of the Simi Valley center to apply for loans and grants to repair or replace crumpled homes and businesses.

"We've been waiting for this," said Dave Starr, owner of a three-story Victorian home near collapse in Fillmore. "We want to start (rebuilding) right away."

The two Ventura County disaster aid centers were among 11 opened Thursday within 30 miles of the epicenter of Monday's disastrous 6.6-magnitude Northridge earthquake.

The overall death toll climbed to 51 Thursday when a helicopter carrying two people checking Tejon Pass oil pipelines crashed. The pilot was not identified, but the passenger was engineer Michael A. Scully, 33, of Bakersfield, son of Los Angeles Dodgers announcer Vin Scully.

As damage estimates stabilized at perhaps $30 billion across Southern California, Gov. Pete Wilson toured hard-hit areas, pledging an array of state aid. In Simi Valley, he comforted earthquake victims as they waited to apply for state and federal assistance.

"I appreciate the grit and courage and resiliency that you folks have shown in what is really terrible suffering," Wilson said to quake victim Jim Coyle, whose Simi Valley house has cracked walls and a toppled chimney.

As hundreds of victims watched from a long, slow-moving line at the Simi Valley disaster center, Wilson said the state has arranged for private financial institutions to make "bridge loans" until federal businesses loans come through in several weeks.

"Governor, they seem like they all forgot us in Simi Valley, what about Simi Valley?" implored one middle-aged woman near tears. The governor said Simi Valley had not been forgotten and its disaster center was the first to be opened in the region.

Because of a 1 p.m. opening of the disaster offices and a crush of waiting victims in Simi Valley and Fillmore, most of the 1,300 quake victims were given future appointments instead of personal assistance.

"We didn't get any questions answered, all we got were a bunch of forms," said Jack Starnes of Fillmore.

Payments to earthquake victims could come within days for emergency housing, cleanup and repair, but housing and business loans will take weeks or months to process, said Kati Corsaut of the state Office of Emergency Services.

Hundreds of Simi Valley-area victims have appointments through next Monday, and about 100 more were scheduled for interviews in Fillmore through the weekend.

About 6,000 dwellings were damaged countywide, including more than 1,000 houses and mobile homes that have been declared uninhabitable at least temporarily. About 225 businesses, including 200 in Simi Valley, have sustained moderate to extensive damage, officials have estimated. But so far only 12 Simi Valley businesses have been declared too dangerous to enter.

*

As building inspectors surveyed the damage Thursday, there were hopeful signs. Several major east county buildings were found to be far less damaged than first thought.

The East County Courthouse and county library in Simi Valley are expected to reopen next week, the Moorpark College library and gymnasium suffered no structural damage, and all 27 Simi Valley schools may be back in session by the middle of next week, officials said. The Thousand Oaks library is also structurally sound despite a fallen roof.

"With everything in disarray, everything looks worse than it may be," said Wendy Haddock, assistant director of county emergency services in the Sheriff's Department.

In other developments:

* Simi Valley officials continued to struggle to patch two major water lines that broke during Wednesday's strong aftershocks and to restore service to 5,000 east end homes that still cannot count on running water.

* Public school administrators estimated earthquake damage at $5 million in Simi Valley, $400,000 in Thousand Oaks and $175,000 in Fillmore's small district. Fillmore schools reopened but fewer than half the students returned to class.

Thousand Oaks officials reported that city suffered more damage than was immediately apparent, especially in the exclusive 188-house Chanteclair tract. Damage to city property was estimated at $1 million.

* About 575 people were still in emergency shelters in Fillmore and Simi Valley Wednesday night, up from 485 the night before.

* The county assessor and tax collector said property owners with damage greater than $5,000 could apply for reassessments and delay their April tax payments.

* Ridership on the Metrolink train service to Los Angeles fell below pre-quake levels, and officials speculated that commuters were taking the week off to clean up.

* Caltech seismologists said Wednesday's two 5-magnitude aftershocks did not take place on the same fault as the Northridge quake, but are part of a separate, continuing migration of aftershocks toward Ventura County.

* Forecasters said the county should brace for weekend rain that promises to make a bad situation worse by leaving ruptured properties exposed to water damage.

The amount of disaster aid Ventura County quake victims may eventually receive is uncertain.

But a Federal Emergency Management Agency spokesman said the county will get a substantial part of the $1-billion federal emergency fund being made available for the region's earthquake relief.

"You're certainly safe in saying that tens of millions will be going to Ventura County," said FEMA's Brett Hansard. "At this point, millions don't even mean anything."

Federal housing officials, who joined state and federal emergency workers at the disaster centers, said $4 million is already available to Ventura County residents for emergency housing and the rehabilitation of damaged dwellings.

"For the temporary housing, they have to verify that people are truly victims of the disaster," said Corsaut of state emergency services. "But they'll try to do that within days."

*

Aid eligibility is determined case by case, officials said. Programs cover earthquake losses to homes, personal property and businesses not covered by insurance or other aid programs.

To avoid crowding in the first days, Hansard suggested use of the agency's tele-registration number, 800-462-9029. "At some point they're strongly encouraged to go in to the application center in person," he said.

"It's not first come, first served," he said. "Anybody who qualifies for FEMA assistance is going to get it."

In addition to opening the two aid centers, Thursday brought other signs of recovery.

"You know, I have a trickle of water today and I can't tell you how good it feels," said county Supervisor Vicky Howard, a resident of Simi Valley's hard-hit east end. That water was available because repair crews worked all night to patch leaks in main lines.

Simi Valley officials said about 5,000 customers remained without water Thursday evening because of new breaks and leaks discovered as water pressure increased.

Residents without water included some who were cut off most of the time since the quake and others who had not lost service until early Thursday. City Manager Lin Koester said workers hope to have water restored throughout the city by early today.

All Simi Valley residents were advised to boil their water because of the possibility of impurities entering the system. Hundreds lined up for drinking water at distribution points in the city.

Contrary to expectations, Metrolink ridership was down on the first day that the commuter rail service resumed between Moorpark and Simi Valley and downtown Los Angeles.

*

Officials speculated that many residents are staying home to clean up or may not realize that service has resumed.

After saying earlier that they may extend Metrolink as far west as Oxnard, county Transportation Commission officials said they will ask FEMA for money to extend train service to Ventura for up to a year while Los Angeles County freeways are repaired. A decision on the extension is expected next week.

Meanwhile, the county was looking to the skies and hoping that a weekend storm brings only light rain.

Forecasters predicted at least half an inch of rain from Saturday evening until Sunday afternoon along coastal areas, and twice as much in the mountains.

But Haddock of county emergency services said the cities of Simi Valley and Fillmore are preparing for the worst.

Both cities are distributing information on how to use sandbags to divert runoff and landslides and the availability of plastic sheeting to cover houses and businesses, she said.

A newspaper reporter who witnessed the government's raid on the Branch Davidian compound testified in San Antonio that the first shots were fired by the cultists.Marc Masferrer, testifying at the murder trial of 11 cult members, said his editor at the Waco Tribune-Herald sent him to the compound Feb. 28, and that he saw the agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms arrive. The issue of who shot first is critical to defendants' claim of self-defense. The defendants claim they retaliated only after being fired upon by agents.

Nearly 50,000 children and teen-agers were killed by guns from 1979 through 1991, a total roughly equal to the number of battle casualties in the Vietnam War, the Children's Defense Fund said.The children's advocacy group used the release of its annual yearbook on the state of America's children to urge stronger regulation of the sale, manufacture and possession of non-sporting firearms. The report said juveniles now account for both a high and rapidly growing share of homicide offenders as well as victims. The number of arrests for murder and non-negligent manslaughter for adults rose 11% from 1982 to 1991, while the number of juveniles arrested for those crimes rose 93%, the group said.

A Scottish businessman shot and killed by a Houston homeowner who apparently mistook him for a burglar was not legally drunk at the time of the early morning incident, the Harris County Medical Examiner's Office said.Andrew Peter De Vries, 28, of Aberdeen, Scotland, had a blood-alcohol level of 0.08% when he was killed earlier this month by Jeffrey Agee, who fired three times through a back door in his house as De Vries was knocking on the door, a medical examiner's office spokeswoman said. A blood-alcohol level of 0.10% is considered legally drunk in Texas. The case will be referred to a state grand jury without charges against Agee, police said.

A little theater, from the vast theater of the earthquake:

In an airport hangar, at the panoramic table that seated President Clinton and an array of dressed-down officialdom, Gov. Pete Wilson was squeezed between Mayor Richard Riordan and Sen. Dianne Feinstein, the woman he defeated to get his job.

Riordan played host with an affable intensity, several times scolding the audience, "Can we keep the noise down, please!" He contributed only one line to the trove of Riordanisms: that the federal government's action was "an unprecedented response that has never happened before."

That "unprecedented response" twice upstaged the governor this week. On Monday, Wilson was at center court at an L.A. news conference when Feinstein walked in unexpectedly early and attracted virtually every camera lens.

And the next day, at the mangled intersection of the 5 and 14 freeways, Wilson had just ended an hourlong live television hookup when a sleek federal government helicopter kicked up clouds of dust, landed smack on the freeway and out stepped Transportation Secretary Federico Pena.

Sen. Barbara Boxer finally caught the wave and attended the Wednesday conference; she had called a crime summit in Sacramento the day before, when just about the only killer on anyone's mind was the killer quake.

And how soon they forget: The sign in front of the director of the Office of Management and Budget -- longtime former California congressman Leon Panetta -- identified him as "Director Penetta." Other U.S. Quakes

California ranked second in the nation, after Alaska, in the greatest number of earthquakes from 1980 through 1991. Here are the top five states, ranked by the number of quakes measuring 2.5 magnitude and above, as well as the largest magnitude quake to hit each of those states in that period. 03,12,13,11 NUMBER OF EARTHQUAKES LARGEST STATE 1980-1991 MAGNITUDE Alaska 10,253 7.